


Fangirl Heaven

by YouCantKeepMeDown



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Becky is creepy, Crack, M/M, lots of fangirling, lovingly, poking fun at tumblr fan culture, serial killer fandom, side michaen, well technically they're contract killers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 17:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouCantKeepMeDown/pseuds/YouCantKeepMeDown
Summary: Sam's roommate Becky is a huge serial killer fan, but he's never expected her to invite her celebrity crushes home.





	Fangirl Heaven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coplins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coplins/gifts).



> I wrote this for Coplins' birthday. Happy Birthday!
> 
> Thanks to my beta readers Askatosch, Brieflymaximumprincess, and Mrs_SimonTam_PHD!
> 
> Also, a disclaimer: You might find yourself agreeing with Becky a lot and might be creeped out by it, because Becky is her canonically creepy self in this fic. What makes Becky creepy, though, is that she doesn't respect boundaries and that she thinks people she finds attractive only exist to fulfill her wishes. Just being of the opinion that Michael (well, Matt Cohen) is unfairly hot only means that you have eyes. Congrats.

Sam probably needs to find another roommate. It’s not that Becky Rosen isn’t friendly. She’s even stopped being too friendly after some very stern words. But ever since she learned that he’s fascinated by serial killers and knows the body count and the MO of some of them, she thinks he’s one of those people. One of the people that write love letters into prison. Like Becky herself does every week.

That’s probably also why she thinks it’s okay to yank open his door one evening and screech: “The Archangels are free!” on the top of her lungs. As if that’s good news.

Sam looks up from the book he’s been trying to make sense of. “Didn’t they have a life sentence?” He asks.

“They totally did!” Becky is bouncing with barely contained enthusiasm. “But they broke out last night! Tumblr is going nuts right now! I already wrote another Michael x Reader where he needs the reader to hide him and it’s getting new notes by the minute!” She gets a dreamy look, staring at a point past Sam’s right shoulder. “And we’re forming a prayer circle for them to stay safe, and I know it won’t happen, but if Michael showed up here, I wouldn’t even care, if he killed me.”

For a moment, Sam kind of hopes he would, because that would spare him Becky listing everything she likes about Michael – which is a long list. He knows, because he’s heard it already more than once. “You know they’re not actually the typical serial killers?” He says to distract her. “They’re contract killers. So unless someone wants you dead–”

“Yes!” She interrupts him, beaming. “I’m mostly safe, right? I’m just saying, those hands? Imagine them wrapped around your neck!”

So much for distracting her. And that’s another thing Becky assumes about Sam. That the fact that he’s bi means he totally agrees with her when she talks about things she finds hot in men – and that he wants to hear about it. At the beginning he’s tried to stop her, but there’s no stopping Becky when she’s in gushing mode.

“Oh, and what I’d give to touch those abs at least once!”

“Becky,” Sam tries anyway, “I have a test tomorrow.”

“Sam! The Archangels are free! How can you think about tests right now?”

“Right.” Sam sighs. “Maybe you should check how many notes your new œuvre has by now.”

“Oh! Yes! I should!” With that she’s gone and Sam can concentrate on his studies again.

* * *

He’s almost ready to go to bed, when there’s a knock on the door of their little student apartment. Frowning, he starts towards the door, but Becky is faster. Sam can hear her moving in the small hallway with it’s kitchen niche. She unlocks the door, then there’s a gasp.

“Oh my god! OH MY GOD!”

If Sam hadn’t known better, he would’ve said Michael was standing outside, judging by Becky’s reaction. But it was probably just some other guy she was having a crush on. She was getting new crushes every week.

“Sssh,” comes a voice. Someone steps into the apartment, then there are more footsteps, more people.

“Oh my god!” Becky says again. The end of it is muffled, as if a hand is clasped over her mouth.

“Raphael, left door,” the voice says. “Lucifer, right door.”

Or maybe it really is the archangels, because Sam knows those names. For a moment he’s frozen in disbelieve. What the fuck did Becky do? She probably gave Michael her address when writing all her love letters didn’t she? In hope of getting one back. Of course she did. Sam curses silently, then hurries to his nightstand. In the upper most drawer, there’s a gun. He manages to wrap his fingers around the handle, before there’s a voice from the door.

“I’d drop that, if I were you. And then turn around. Slowly.”

Damn. Sam lets the gun go and turns around, lifting his hands. In his door stands a blond guy that he remembers vaguely from some Tumblr posts Becky has shown him. Even though those had always revolved around Michael, sometimes the other Archangels had been mentioned too.

So, this is Lucifer. The pictures hadn’t done the intensity justice with which his blue eyes look at Sam. He gives Sam a quick once over, lifts an eyebrow in a way that may imply that he likes what he sees, and motions for Sam to come closer. “Join us out here, will you?”

Sam slowly lowers his hands again, because he feels stupid with them up, but keeps them in sight. He knows the drill from when he’s still worked with his dad and Dean. They’d gotten into trouble often enough. That’s also why his heartbeat stays mostly steady, and only his thoughts are racing, going through his options, trying to assess his chances of making it out of this alive.

He walks closer toward the door, while Lucifer steps out into the hallway again. The gun always stay on him, though. Sam ignores it and looks around. By Becky’s door there’s a shorter man, talking to someone inside her room. And then there’s Michael, who has Becky backed against a wall, knife at her throat and one hand clasped over her mouth.

“You know,” Sam says. He can’t help it, because this is kind of funny. “That’s probably one of her fantasies.”

That makes Lucifer snicker.

Michael pulls a face as if he knows exactly what Sam means. Of course he does. He’s read the love letters. He doesn’t look happy about it, though. “Who are you?” He asks.

“Roommate,” Sam says. “Didn’t tell you about me, did she?”

“Which is a shame,” the short man by Becky’s door says. He must be Gabriel. “Not mentioning someone so–” He catches a dark look from Lucifer and grins. “Freakishly tall,” he ends his sentence.

Michael turns his attention to Becky again. “When you basically invited me to stay here, what did you imagine your roommate would say about that?” He takes his hand away from her mouth.

“You invited him to stay here?” Sam bursts out.

“I’m sorry, Sam!” Becky says. “But how could I not?” Slowly, she lifts a hand and puts it on Michael’s chest. A blissed out expression drifts over her face. “You’re even more beautiful in real life. Your lips, they’re–”

“Answer my question,” Michael interrupts her, knife digging a bit deeper into her skin.

Now there’s a hint of fear on Becky’s face. “Well, I figured you’ll be able to deal with him.”

Wait, did she just really …? “Did you just imply that they should kill me?”

“Wow,” Gabriel comments. “I hope she wasn’t your friend. I’d hate to have friends like that.”

“I’m sorry, Sam!” Becky almost sounds like she really is. “But you have to understand.” Her hand travels up Michael’s chest, and he scowls, grabs her wrist and pins it against the wall. That makes her gasp, and Sam doesn’t even want to be able to tell, if that’s a shocked or an excited gasp. He would almost feel sorry for Michael, if his brother or associate or whatever didn’t still have a gun pointed at Sam.

“Can we not?” Lucifer asks. “I kinda like him.”

Well, at least that’s slightly reassuring. Before Sam can say anything to his defence, the door to Becky’s room opens completely, and a woman with dark hair and high cheekbones appears in the entrance. “I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Well,” Gabriel says, “to our stuck up brother’s defence, we don’t exactly have many friends right now. And she sounded loony enough to be the real deal and not a trap.”

Raphael rolls her eyes. “From what I’ve seen on her computer screen, she definitely is the real deal. I would advise not to read, by the way. Unless you want a description of all of our brother’s … assets in great detail.”

Sam can practically hear Michael roll his eyes. “So no bugs anywhere?”

“No bugs,” Raphael says. “She’s really just a fan.”

“Of course I am!” Becky exclaims. “I’m your biggest fan! Of course I understand that you have to be careful, but–” Michael puts his hand over her mouth again.

“Gabriel, take a closer look at her computer,” he says. “And Lucifer, make sure the roommate doesn’t tell on us. I don’t care how.”

Now Sam’s heart starts to race, while Lucifer backs him into his room again. “Listen,” he hurries to say. “I don’t mind, if you crash here for a while. I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”

On his way backwards, his knees bump into the edge of his bed, and he half falls half sits down. Lucifer steps closer, barrel of his gun almost touching Sam’s forehead now. And Sam really doesn’t want to be a second Becky, but those blue eyes are mesmerizing. He finds himself staring up at them without being able to look away. “You’ll understand that we can’t just take your word for that.”

“‘Course,” Sam says. He wracks his head for something to say that would make sure he stays alive. Instead he just starts babbling. “But I’ve been there myself. Dad did all kinds of illegal business. My brother is actually in prison right now.” Wait, isn’t Dean in the same prison the Archangels have been. Maybe he can use that? “Maybe you know him. Name’s Dean Winchester. He’s sitting for credit card fraud and burglary.” Hopefully, they don’t know and hate him. It’s been a while since Sam has spoken to Dean. They hadn’t parted on the best terms.

“Dean Winchester?” Now there’s a grin on Lucifer’s face again. “Mike!” He calls. “I think I found your boyfriend’s brother!”

“Don’t kill him!” Michael calls back.

Sam collapses in relief. Michael’s boyfriend? What the fuck? This is the craziest coincidence to ever happen, but right now he takes anything he can get. Lucifer puts his gun away, still grinning. “He wanted to break out with us, got caught, though. Said you’d maybe help us, but he wasn’t sure about it and he wasn’t even sure where you live these days.”

“Well, I’ve been trying to stay out of trouble,” Sam says and can’t help that it sounds a bit reproachful. Now that it’s established that they won’t kill him, he feels bolder. “So it’d be really nice, if you didn’t get caught while staying here. But I’ll help you alright.”

“You can always say we forced you to help us.” Lucifer looks him up and down again, tip of his tongue visible in the corner of his mouth for a moment. “I can always hold you at gunpoint again. You know, that bitchface you made was glorious.”

Sam throws him exactly that bitchface again, and Lucifer laughs. “Wouldn’t be against tying you up either, if you prefer that,” he adds.

“How about you buy me dinner first?” Great. The whole situation is such a throwback to old times that he starts quoting Dean now.

“Good idea,” Lucifer says. “How about I buy you dinner as soon as we’re not number one topic of the news anymore?”

“Seriously?” He’d thought Lucifer was joking. Is he really flirting with him?

Lucifer opens his mouth to answer, but before he can say anything, Gabriel calls from the other room. “Lucifer! Come and look at this!”

“Not now, Gabriel!” Lucifer calls back.

“Seriously! You have to see this!”

Lucifer rolls his eyes, then he extends a hand to help Sam up.

“I have a test tomorrow!” Sam protests.

“And you can go and take your test, but for the time being, I’m not giving you alone time with a phone. Trust is a thing that has to be built slowly.” Lucifer winks. “Also, you don’t expect all of us to bunk in fangirl number one’s room, don’t you?”

Sam had kind of hoped that. “I’m not sharing my bed.”

“That’s a pity, but we’ll make do. Come on now.”

With a sigh Sam takes Lucifer’s hand and allows himself to be pulled to his feet.

* * *

Next door Becky is sulking in a corner, while Gabriel and Raphael are huddled together in front of her computer. Michael is leaning against the wall next to the door, arms crossed in front of his chest, not looking amused at all.

“I’ll tell the whole fandom that you’re pretty rude to your fans!” Becky complains.

“We kill people for a living,” Raphael says. “What did you expect?”

“Well, I never liked _you_ anyway!” Becky spits.

“Raphael has killer abs, too!” Gabriel chimes in. He’s rewarded with her elbow in his ribs and a bitchface from Becky.

“I’m not one of those shallow fangirls!” Becky insists. “Of course Michael has the looks of a greek god, but I’ve also analysed all of his kills, and it’s obvious that he’s always very gentle and merciful. That’s what drew me in!”

Next to Sam, Lucifer is laughing silently. “Gentle and merciful.” He snorts. “If you call burning people alive merciful, sure. But maybe you should live up to your reputation and be nice to your fan, Michael. Maybe give her an autograph to make her happy or something.”

In her corner Becky visibly perks up. Well, at least she’s easy to appease.

Gabriel turns to Lucifer and motions for him to come closer. “Come, look! There’s a whole fan community dedicated to us! You wanna know what they say about you?”

Lucifer glances at Sam with a doubtful look in his face. “Do I?”

Now it’s Sam’s turn to grin. “You probably don’t.”

“You’ll hear it anyway,” Raphael says dryly.

“Damn right, sis!” Gabriel turns towards the screen again. “This here is great! It’s a post about Lucifer not sitting in chairs properly during all our court dates. The caption reads: ‘Luci, my precious murder baby. Do you even know how chairs work? Look at him! So adorable!’”

“Did they seriously call me adorable?”

Sam can’t help it, he laughs, even when Lucifer throws him a murderous look. 

“Well, let’s see what they write about you.” Lucifer grabs the back of Gabriel’s chair and pulls it back, away from the computer.

Gabriel tries to get up, but Raphael puts a hand in the middle of his chest and pushes him back. “Payback,” she says with a pleased smile. Sam definitely likes her.

In the meantime, Lucifer starts a search for Gabriel’s name. “Oh, look at this!” He calls. “Smol bean Gabriel. Too pure for this world. My sugar loving son. Protect him at all costs!”

Gabriel huffs. “I only ate candy during one court date! One!”

Now even Michael laughs. “They’ll send you lollipops until the day you die.”

“And probably put them on your grave, too,” Lucifer adds.

“Well, at least they love me,” Gabriel says. “Not gonna argue against a crowd of adoring fangirls. And boys. Do I have fanboys, too?”

“And fan nonbinary people probably,” Lucifer says. “It looks like a big crowd.” Then he starts a new search. For a while, there’s silence. “Hey!” He says after a moment. “Apparently ‘gay for Raphael’ is a search tag.”

“Finally some good content.” Raphael lets Gabriel go and steps next to Lucifer. “Let me see.”

Grinning, Lucifer steps back until he’s next to Sam again. “So …” He says in a low voice. “About buying you dinner.”

Sam smiles. “If you don’t make me fail my test, I’ll consider it.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely make sure you pass that test.”

* * *

The Archangels stay for a few days, and it’s pretty crowded, but also kind of nice. Sam realizes that he missed Dean, and it’s good to hear news from him. When they finally decide to move on, Sam holds Michael back for a moment. “If you get Dean out later, let me know.”

Michael nods. “You should visit him in prison while you still can.”

Sam smiles. “I’ll consider it.” He probably will.

The next moment there’s a hand on Sam’s shoulder. He turns to look straight into Lucifer’s icy blue eyes. “I’ll let you know about that dinner date.”

He’s definitely persistent. Sam’s smile gets a bit wider. “You do that.”

And that’s the point where they should say goodbye, but for a moment none of them moves. Finally, Lucifer leans forward a bit. Sam’s hands move almost by themselves and find their way to Lucifer’s waist, pull him closer until they’re flush chest to chest.

The next moment their lips meet. It’s a very chaste kiss at the beginning. Then the tip of Lucifer’s tongue flickers out, and Sam chases it, wants more.

A breathless “Oh my god!” from the direction of Becky’s room makes them break apart. When Sam looks over Lucifer’s shoulder, Becky is standing there, hands clasped to her heart. “Don’t mind me! Oh, you’re so cute together! I totally ship you!”

Lucifer pulls a face and Sam can feel himself do the same. He leans closer to Sam’s ear. “You should get a new roommate.”

Sam nods.

A few moments later they’re gone. And Becky leans against the kitchen counter, fanning herself. “Oh my. That was something! They are pretty rude, of course! But everybody will be so jealous of me! And you and Lucifer!” She gets that dreamy look again. “I totally have a new ship!”

Sam very much hopes that doesn’t mean there’ll be fanfic about them, but he fears there will. He makes a mental note to never google himself ever.

“Becky,” he says. “If you tell anyone that they were here, I’ll kill you.”

“Oh my,” Becky says with a smile. “You really fit right in, don’t you?”

He really has to get a new roommate.


End file.
